Learning to Compromise

I've been in a planning rut, so I thought I would share some insight as to something that Dustin and I have worked on throughout the process so far - the art of compromising.

Please don't throw up when you read this next part...

Dustin and I had never had a fight before wedding planning.  For two years if we disagreed on something, we communicated our feelings perfectly.  We still communicate well, however there were things that we should have communicated better.

Right after the engagement, stress began.  One, it was hard to read what our parents really wanted from us and two, people will tell you to do what you want, but complain afterwards.  Number two really affected our relationship.  Even before becoming engaged, we discussed it and the options for a while.  We just talk out things before deciding them.  But then we would receive calls from people asking if we have thought things through, and the stress would build.

Eventually stress got to the best of us.  I had worked for hours getting ideas together, and Dustin felt as though I wasn't including him.  And I felt as though he would just tune me out.  Now we didn't yell at each other, but we had to seriously talk (I cried because I wear my emotions on my sleeve).  But we figured it out and so I would only be allowed to discuss one main planning matter a day, and I would make sure I worded it to where I was asking instead of telling.

Also, I have had to learn how to let him have his things, and me mine.  I'm terrified of being a bridezilla, but I can be very particular about how I like things.  I need to include him where he wants to be, and let him have things that he likes.  Sounds so simple, but it's not.

Even though there is stress, the best moment in planning a wedding is when you decide something.  It's those moments when you realize how much you love the other person.  It's like you fall even more in love.

So all in all, learn to compromise.  Communicate your feelings every day without the blame game.  Finally decide things and fall in love all over again.

Wedding Rings - I MADE OFF LIKE A BANDIT!!!

When you plan a wedding, one of the goals to accomplish later in the planning process is buying your wedding rings.  Well, being that I work at the fine jewelry department at JCPenney's, I know when the best sales are - BLACK FRIDAY!

We have this black friday pre-sale, which on the rings we wanted meant 40% off plus an additional 25% off that price.  I opened a JCPenney account AND work there so I got 10% off that price, and an additional 20% off that price.

All in all, I paid 32% of the original price of the rings and saved almost $800.  Not bad right!?!

Dustin wanted a nicer ring.  Although I cringed at the price-tag of his good taste, I knew that he spent sooo much money on me, and the least I can do is buy the ring he wanted.

However, we had to also fork out the cost of resizing because he wears a size 8 ring.  They don't make men's rings in a size 8!!! So to fix this, the lifetime care plan equalled the cost of the resizing so his ring will be perfect for a lifetime!

For me, I tried on every type out there, and chose something a little bit different than traditional.  I also was more cost conscious.  There's no need for two expensive rings on my left had finger!



So here are my recommendations for ring shopping:

• Find something that fits your personalities.
• Don't be afraid to choose something different.
• If you are on a budget, plan ahead!  
• Pay attention to jewelry-heavy holidays.  You can get a good sale here and there.
• SHOP AROUND!

Engagement pictures are in!

Below are Dustin & my engagement pictures!  They are courtesy of Susan Fowler of Fowler Photo.

Making the Memories Last - Tips on Choosing a Photographer & Videographer

There are some wedding photographers and videographers who really rake it in.  Not saying they don't deserve to make so much, but professionals in this field can easily bring in $1500+.  

This is an area that you should take time in choosing who will be capturing your memories.  Some people out there will go with the most expensive, and that's fine.  Others will just strictly go with their friends. (Remember that your friends are not always professional.  As much as you love them, the result may not be what you desired).  If you are like me and are on a budget where you have to pick and choose, then these tips may help you.

What to look for in a photographer:

Our Photographer - Susan Fowler of Fowler Photo

Photography Package - Basic Wedding Package

We chose to go with enough hours to take pictures of me getting dress and most formal portraits ahead of time.  I'll have Susan for 6 hours (3 p.m. - 9 pm.) and receive 75 prints.  If we want to purchase more, we will!

• Style of Photographs - What do you want your pictures to look like?  Do you want the traditional portraits, black & white photos, more candid shots, or all of the above?  When researching photographers in the area, look at their portfolios.  Find what appeals to you.  If you can't afford the ones that appeal to you, ask photographers you can afford if they can take pictures like what you want.  Chances are yes.
• D&K - We wanted all of the above.  However we loved the candid/artistic photos, and that is what our photographer will bring to us
• Experience - It's helpful to have someone who has shot a wedding before.  Timing is of the essence.  However, more experienced photographers may be pricier.  It may help to take a risk on a newer photographer and communicate exactly what you want.
• D&K - Our photographer is newer, but has shot a wedding before.  However she has shoots every week and constantly improves.  Our engagement pictures are perfect and I am confident our wedding shots will be too!
• Like-ability - Make sure you like the photographer's personality and that you can work with them.
• D&K - I've known Susan for years!
• Negotiate your details up front and know what is included and what is an additional expense.

What to look for in a videographer:

Our Videographer - Preston Prince

This is an area that we just wanted to have it taped and look nice.  Preston is giving us two camera angles for an unlimited amount of time, & five DVDs.  He'll even have shots of me getting ready if requested and will edit it all together.  All for $250 - the perfect price for what I want.

• Date and time specifics - Know the total amount of hours including breaks
• Know a detailed description of fees, expenses, and other costs including taxes
• Staff included and attire, as well as accommodations (i.e. meals)
• Policies regarding negatives, digital files and raw footage
• References - Talk to other customers and see if they were happy with services provided

Hope this helps in things to look for.  This can apply to more that just weddings!  One last thing...

GET CONTRACTS!!!

So I can't eat now, right?

One thing people tell bride-to-bes is that a wedding is a perfect reason to get in shape.  Now I don't agree with that, but in college I had become a lot healthier and slimmer.  So in my mind, I didn't need to starve myself because I was perfectly fine.

I WAS WRONG!

Since graduation, I've let myself go.  Now I haven't gained too much weight (most of my clothes were fitting me fine) but I have put on a couple pounds.  Lately my pants are getting tighter and I just don't feel as confident.

So it's time to start the pre-wedding diet.  Thank God Dustin is going to do this with me.  No more soda.  No more sweets.  Time to start taking care of ourselves.  We are going to do this the healthy way.  We aren't starving ourselves.  I don't care what I loose, I just want to feel comfortable and happier with the way I look.

Here is my diet pledge to you.

• Eating out no more than 2x a week (try to limit it to one)
• No soft drink at all (did it once, I can do it again)
• Work out 4x a week
• Grilled, not fried
• Stop buying chocolate
• More fruits and veggies
• Stop munching when I'm not hungry

I won't be able to do this instantly.  It will take some work (I sound like a drug addict!) but I will do my best to have a healthier, slightly smaller but confident.  :D